Chapter 1 - Yawnsville
It was warm, warmer than any other Summer we'd ever had. We wanted to take off our leather jackets but that would've meant breaking rule one, 'A silly boy never takes his jacket off in any situation'. So we walked down the street in the sweltering heat being cooked alive in our rhinestone leather jackets.
I turned to the left after a particularly long and loud yawn drew my attention to Barry. Georgie and I both looked at him expectantly after such a drwn out and dramatic yawn. Barry however looked at us as if we were the ones who'd tried to attract his attention.
"Wha'? Wha'?" he demanded in a British accent despite being from Killarney. He scratched at his beard and scratched a mane of curls that was rapidly thinning.
"You were the one looking for our attention" I complained irritably "Always with the dramatic with you Barry!"
"By Excelsior you can be annoying Barry" Georgie complained sourly, I say sourly but he was always in a sour mood anyway so I should say he complained in a normal fashion for him
"But I was just yawning Jose!" Barry complained, a slight whie in his voice, trying to sound casual about his dramatic yawn
"I wouldn't mind only that everything you do is so dramatic, trying to get our attention" Georgie seemed to be in an even more bitter mood today than was usual. Maybe it was te fact that he was a curly headed fuck or that neither Barry or I had commented on his jhorts, despite his incessant chatter about them
"Dramatic? How am I dramatic?" Barry exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his arms his voice trembling on the verge of a falsetto
"Well for one thing your sneezing attracts the attention of half the town" Georgie said, flashing the receipt for his jhorts in front of our faces. Barry hastily stopped pretending to about to sneeze and glared indignantly at Georgie
"I do not!" his voice threatened to break out into song, something to the tune of a Queen song no doubt knowing him
"And the constant giving out. 'Oooh my feet 'urt' or 'Ooooh I've got heartburn, where are my wennie!'" I said while grabbing the receipt from Georgie's hand and throwing it in the bin
Barry gave up the sudden limp he had and shut his mouth quickly, hurrying to catch up with me and Georgie
"I don't do any of those things! If anything, you and Georgie are the dramatic complainers in this gang. Always giving out about how the women in clubs you chat up have boyfriends! Not every girl you talk to has a boyfriend, you know! It's probably just something to do with the way Georgie is always wearing jhorts, showing off his feminine calves, and you, Jose, always groping them inappropriately twenty seconds into the conversation"
"Hey man, jhorts are awesome"
"It's not my fault I've got wandering hands. They do what they do and I do what I do and we all get along famously"
"Hah, you guys suck"
"Well I don't know where you get off making fun of us Barry. Today you weren't even going to wear anything except underwear and that leather jacket out"
"Wha'? It's awflly warm out today!"
"Well wear shorts or something then"
"No! Never!"
"Is this another one of your weird things?"
"What weird things?"
We reached the end of the street and turned left down an alley that smelled suspiciously of sex and vomit. I don't know which one turned me on but I was definitely sporting a stiffy by the time we exited the other side and made our way across the street to the park on the far side
"You know! Your weird things"
"No, I don't know! Tell me"
"Don't tell us what to do you dick!"
"Just tell me!"
Georgie sighed dramatically to my right and just shook his head, seems it was up to me to tell Barry what was so weird about him
"Well for example, we've just walked all the way from the top of the town to the park. A good 500 yards and all the way you've been wearing no shoes or socks!"
"So? I like to let my feet breathe! What's weird about that?"
"What does that even mean? Let your feet breathe?"
"I don't know. I just heard a guy saying it on the television once and it's stuck with me"
"So you're basing your no shoes policy on the fact that a guy on the television once said he did it to let his feet breathe?"
"So wha'? It's normal. Give me another example of a weird thing"
"Well the constant heartburn. How can you have heartburn all the time?"
"I just do, alri'!"
"That's just not possible" Georgie burst out angrily from beside me before lapsing into what he thought was a cool silence while strutting in his jhorts
"Alright Georgie, calm down pal" I looked over to Barry nad rolled my eyes dramatically and pointed blatantly at Georgie while 'whispering' "Diva" to him but Barry wasn't taking the bait
"Look, having heartburn all the time isn't weird ok?"
"Sure it's not"
"And I'm not a diva" Georgie pouted sulenly
"Sure you're not!"
The two silly boys stared at me angrily before lapsing into silence. We kept on walking through the park, kicking childrens footballs away and angrily swatting away flies from our sweaty bodies, still refusing to break rule number one.
"Well, you've got a stupd moustache Jose" Georgie piped up
I gasped and stared at him
"I don't think that thing constitutes a moustache Georgie" Barry cackled beside me, stroking his own full bodied beard
I stared angrily at my two fellow gang members for a full half minute before taking a moustache comb from the pocket of my jacket and brushing the fw strands of moustache that hung in clumps on my upper lip
"I was told I looked sexy with this moustache" I declared angrily, brushing my moustache "Yeah, by Big Red! That one would tell anyone anything if she thought it meant gettin' the ride" Georgie was openly enjoying himself now, the strut back. He was walking slightly ahead of me and Barry now making sure we could see his feminine calves being shown off by his jhorts
"Yeah, remember when she told you that your hair wasn't that stupid looking Georgie and you rode her there and then out in the shed" Barry laughed beside me
Georgie pulled up then and glared back at Barry
"And what about the time she told you you had a full head of hair Barry and you rode her in... wait where did you ride her?"
Barry looked embarassed and looked away
"Oh come on and tell us Barry, we'll keep it between us Silly Boys" I coaxed
"Oh alright, stop badgering me. We rode in the shed as well!"
"Aw sick" Georgie exclaimed
I quickly tried to change the subject
"So how about them Red So...."
"You rode her in the shed as well" the two other Silly Boys exclaimed at once
We all suddenly looked embarassed and refused to make eye contact for a while as we continued walking through the park. We continued on down until we reached the far end of the park and stopped at a clump of trees
"Aw, fuckin finally" I exclaimed and sat down with my back against the trunk of one of the trees
"Finally we can relax" Georgie sighed sinking down onto one of the rocks under the shade of the tree
We had both just started to relax when suddenly our peacefulness was broken by a long drawn out yawn and a sneeze
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatchooooooooo!!! Ugh, heartburn! Where are my wennie....."
I turned to the left after a particularly long and loud yawn drew my attention to Barry. Georgie and I both looked at him expectantly after such a drwn out and dramatic yawn. Barry however looked at us as if we were the ones who'd tried to attract his attention.
"Wha'? Wha'?" he demanded in a British accent despite being from Killarney. He scratched at his beard and scratched a mane of curls that was rapidly thinning.
"You were the one looking for our attention" I complained irritably "Always with the dramatic with you Barry!"
"By Excelsior you can be annoying Barry" Georgie complained sourly, I say sourly but he was always in a sour mood anyway so I should say he complained in a normal fashion for him
"But I was just yawning Jose!" Barry complained, a slight whie in his voice, trying to sound casual about his dramatic yawn
"I wouldn't mind only that everything you do is so dramatic, trying to get our attention" Georgie seemed to be in an even more bitter mood today than was usual. Maybe it was te fact that he was a curly headed fuck or that neither Barry or I had commented on his jhorts, despite his incessant chatter about them
"Dramatic? How am I dramatic?" Barry exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his arms his voice trembling on the verge of a falsetto
"Well for one thing your sneezing attracts the attention of half the town" Georgie said, flashing the receipt for his jhorts in front of our faces. Barry hastily stopped pretending to about to sneeze and glared indignantly at Georgie
"I do not!" his voice threatened to break out into song, something to the tune of a Queen song no doubt knowing him
"And the constant giving out. 'Oooh my feet 'urt' or 'Ooooh I've got heartburn, where are my wennie!'" I said while grabbing the receipt from Georgie's hand and throwing it in the bin
Barry gave up the sudden limp he had and shut his mouth quickly, hurrying to catch up with me and Georgie
"I don't do any of those things! If anything, you and Georgie are the dramatic complainers in this gang. Always giving out about how the women in clubs you chat up have boyfriends! Not every girl you talk to has a boyfriend, you know! It's probably just something to do with the way Georgie is always wearing jhorts, showing off his feminine calves, and you, Jose, always groping them inappropriately twenty seconds into the conversation"
"Hey man, jhorts are awesome"
"It's not my fault I've got wandering hands. They do what they do and I do what I do and we all get along famously"
"Hah, you guys suck"
"Well I don't know where you get off making fun of us Barry. Today you weren't even going to wear anything except underwear and that leather jacket out"
"Wha'? It's awflly warm out today!"
"Well wear shorts or something then"
"No! Never!"
"Is this another one of your weird things?"
"What weird things?"
We reached the end of the street and turned left down an alley that smelled suspiciously of sex and vomit. I don't know which one turned me on but I was definitely sporting a stiffy by the time we exited the other side and made our way across the street to the park on the far side
"You know! Your weird things"
"No, I don't know! Tell me"
"Don't tell us what to do you dick!"
"Just tell me!"
Georgie sighed dramatically to my right and just shook his head, seems it was up to me to tell Barry what was so weird about him
"Well for example, we've just walked all the way from the top of the town to the park. A good 500 yards and all the way you've been wearing no shoes or socks!"
"So? I like to let my feet breathe! What's weird about that?"
"What does that even mean? Let your feet breathe?"
"I don't know. I just heard a guy saying it on the television once and it's stuck with me"
"So you're basing your no shoes policy on the fact that a guy on the television once said he did it to let his feet breathe?"
"So wha'? It's normal. Give me another example of a weird thing"
"Well the constant heartburn. How can you have heartburn all the time?"
"I just do, alri'!"
"That's just not possible" Georgie burst out angrily from beside me before lapsing into what he thought was a cool silence while strutting in his jhorts
"Alright Georgie, calm down pal" I looked over to Barry nad rolled my eyes dramatically and pointed blatantly at Georgie while 'whispering' "Diva" to him but Barry wasn't taking the bait
"Look, having heartburn all the time isn't weird ok?"
"Sure it's not"
"And I'm not a diva" Georgie pouted sulenly
"Sure you're not!"
The two silly boys stared at me angrily before lapsing into silence. We kept on walking through the park, kicking childrens footballs away and angrily swatting away flies from our sweaty bodies, still refusing to break rule number one.
"Well, you've got a stupd moustache Jose" Georgie piped up
I gasped and stared at him
"I don't think that thing constitutes a moustache Georgie" Barry cackled beside me, stroking his own full bodied beard
I stared angrily at my two fellow gang members for a full half minute before taking a moustache comb from the pocket of my jacket and brushing the fw strands of moustache that hung in clumps on my upper lip
"I was told I looked sexy with this moustache" I declared angrily, brushing my moustache "Yeah, by Big Red! That one would tell anyone anything if she thought it meant gettin' the ride" Georgie was openly enjoying himself now, the strut back. He was walking slightly ahead of me and Barry now making sure we could see his feminine calves being shown off by his jhorts
"Yeah, remember when she told you that your hair wasn't that stupid looking Georgie and you rode her there and then out in the shed" Barry laughed beside me
Georgie pulled up then and glared back at Barry
"And what about the time she told you you had a full head of hair Barry and you rode her in... wait where did you ride her?"
Barry looked embarassed and looked away
"Oh come on and tell us Barry, we'll keep it between us Silly Boys" I coaxed
"Oh alright, stop badgering me. We rode in the shed as well!"
"Aw sick" Georgie exclaimed
I quickly tried to change the subject
"So how about them Red So...."
"You rode her in the shed as well" the two other Silly Boys exclaimed at once
We all suddenly looked embarassed and refused to make eye contact for a while as we continued walking through the park. We continued on down until we reached the far end of the park and stopped at a clump of trees
"Aw, fuckin finally" I exclaimed and sat down with my back against the trunk of one of the trees
"Finally we can relax" Georgie sighed sinking down onto one of the rocks under the shade of the tree
We had both just started to relax when suddenly our peacefulness was broken by a long drawn out yawn and a sneeze
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatchooooooooo!!! Ugh, heartburn! Where are my wennie....."
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