Chapter 3 - Clingy Gangles
We watched as Clingy Gangles crested the hill and made his way over to us
"Fuckin' Gangles" Georgie muttered under his breath, kicking a large stone which was followed by a loud yelp and Georgie hopping around on one foot cursing his bad luck
"Oh shut the fuck up Georgie, you know as much as we do that we all love Clingy Gangles" I said running a hand through my hair, fixing it a little "I mean he is the most talented member of your band after all"
""What the fuck are you talking about Jose" Barry spat in my direction "If anything, I'm the best member of that band. Why, without me, those guys would be like a captainless ship drifting around the ocean, directionless and ...."
Barry was quietened with a swift kick from a now recovered Georgie
"I'm the best member of The Bookleys and that's that" He declared, cartwheeling his arms in the air for whatever reason he had, we had stopped asking him for reasons after he walked around the town in a crouch all day citing CIA agents following him as the reason, we decided from then on that we wouldn't ask him questions about his actions unless it affected us directly
"Whatever, I just hope he that twenty quid I lent him last week, he said he'd pay me back when he got the dole this week" Barry said dodging one of Georgie's flailing arms
"You lent him a twenty! When I asked you for a few euro the other day you laughed in my face and continued fanning yourself with some fivers. You son of a bitch" Georgie exclaimed
He had stopped cartwheeling his arms now and was pretending to karate chop one of the trees, making loud grunts and exclamations every time he pretended to land a hit. We didn't even need to ask him about that one, he had taken one class of karate three weeks ago and now assumed that he was a karate master
"Will you cut that out Georgie, Clingy is almost here" I said
"I need to train my delts and tris every day" He declared loudly, refusing to look over at us "My sensei said to do it every day"
"Your sensei?" Barry laughed "I'm pretty sure that guy was the homeless guy who used to hang out in front of my house, I think he managed to get cleaned up and conned a guy out of a hundred quid for a karate lesson.... oh wait, that was you"
"No it wasn't, my sensei was trained by a tiger in the mystical arts of karate deep in the Amazon jungle"
He had no started kicking the tree, his leg barely rising high enough to reach his waist
"Do you even listen to what you say sometimes Georgie! I mean seriously, a lot of what you say is retarded and the rest of it is moronic"
"Seriously dude, you sound almost as stupid as Crudley"
Georgie stopped suddenly and ran over to pin Barry against the tree
"Take that back or I'll use the secret death touch on you that sensei Miyagi taught mein training!"
"Sensei Miyagi!" I was almost crying wiht laughter "As in Mr. Miyagi from The KArate Kid movie. Georgie, you sir have been well and truly duped"
Georgie let go of Barry and stalked over to sit down by himself in a bit of a sulk, his bottom lip trembling on the verge of another crying jag
He seemed to be sulking a lot more of late and I thought I should really aski him about that, instead I just tossed a stone at him and laughed as it hit him squarely on the forehead.
I looked over to see Clingy had finally arrived over to us, a tall gangly ginger fop, bedecked in a nice new waistcoat over a disgustingly dirty t-shirt and trousers that were basically falling off, that man, I was pretty sure, was wearing his clothes until they eventually fell off and he had to buy a new pair of whatever just fell off and from the looks of him it was his teeth next. I barked a laugh and looked over at Barry to share the joke but Barry only had eyes for Gangles, and not the good eyes either, the 'I'm going to murder that guy if he doesn't pay me back my money' kinda eyes. Before I could even say hello Barry was haranguing him over the money
"Gangles! Have you got the money I lent you last week!"
"Sorry Barry, a wakka lakka lakka! I had to give it all to me mum, she beat me at cards last night, a wakka lakka" he said in a British accent
"Wha'? Wha'? If you gave it all to your mum then how did you get that fancy new waistcoat?"
"This? I bought this just after I got the dole, a wakka lakka lakka!"
I could see the vein throbbing in Barry's forehead
"How much was it?"
"About twenty quid I suppose, a wakka lakka lakka"
I could see Barry was going into an apocalyptic rage, his face going red and the hackles on the back of his neck rising. I always meant to ask him how he managed to get hackles like that but never got round to it
I guess it was up to me to diffuse the situation
"I'm sure...."
Before I could say much more though Gangles got hit in the head by a small stone which was followed by a shout of
"You suck Gangles" from Georgies direction and a bark of a laugh
I turned to look over at Georgie, only to see him with a handful of stones ready to throw at Gangles
"Come on now Georgie, lets be civil here"
"Fuck you Jose, you stupid son of a bitch"
With that he tossed the handful of stones in our direction, luckily for us though, that guy had a terribly weak arm and most of the stones dropped short.
"Look guys, I came to find you so I could tell you about the new song I just wrote for the band, a wakka lakka lakka lakka lakka...."
We waited patiently as his 'wakka lakka's' subsided. Chatting amongst ourselves about the current state of the economy and how it could be saved. Eventually they subsided and we could finally find out about Gangles song
"It's called 'Post Lovin' Woman' and it's the greatest song ever"
"I bet it is. Come on then let's hear it" I said, looking forward to hearing the song from, in my opinion the most talented person from around these parts
Georgie snorted derisively to my side and muttered that I 'should stop being so gay for Gangles'
Barry didn't say anything as he was having some sort of rage fit to the side, sounds spluttering out from his mouth as he tried to regain control of his spasming body.
"Well lets hear it then" Georgie said
"Alright then" Gangles proceeded to warm his voice up with some notes on the scale except replacing the notes with 'a wakka lakka's'
Just as he was about to unleash, what I assumed would be musics next greatest hit, Barry recovered from his rage fit and launched himself at Gangles, wrestling him to the ground. After a few minutes Barry extricated himself from a tangled mass of Gangles lanky arms and legs grasping his prize, Gangle's waistcoat.
"If you're not going to pay me back my money then I'm just going to take this as payment instead"
He struggled to put the waistcoat on over his jacket, refusing, as a true Silly Boy to break rule numero uno, to take it off first. When he finally had it on, Georgie and I were in stitches while Gangles just looked on forlornly, accepting defeat
"Barry.." I managed to choke out between laughs "You look ridiculous bro, take the fucking thing off before people see you"
"Never, I'm a Silly Boy and Silly Boys do silly things" And with that he proceeded to strut about like a peacock, showing off his brand new waistcoat to us and I have to admit he pulled it off, he pulled it off with aplomb!
After a rapturous round of applause from Georgie and myself and, surprisingly enough considering the circumstances, Gangles himself, Barry retook his place looking quite smug and content with himself, preening a little after the all round good reaction to his new waistcoat
"Very good Barry, can I get my waistcoat back now please? A Wakka lakka lakka"
"Wha? Wha? You want MY waistcoat?"
"Well I did buy it, a wakka!"
"Get the hell out of here Gangles before I beat the crap out of you!"
"Oooooh noooo, a wakka lakka lakka!"
Gangles sprinted off into the distance with a loud and forlorn 'It were not bloody lovely'
"There goes the next John Lennon" I whispered to myself
"I'm the next John Lennon" Georgie screamed into my ear
"Fuck you Georgie, you're full of shit"
We watched as Clingy Gangles crested the hill and made his way over to us
"Fuckin' Gangles" Georgie muttered under his breath, kicking a large stone which was followed by a loud yelp and Georgie hopping around on one foot cursing his bad luck
"Oh shut the fuck up Georgie, you know as much as we do that we all love Clingy Gangles" I said running a hand through my hair, fixing it a little "I mean he is the most talented member of your band after all"
""What the fuck are you talking about Jose" Barry spat in my direction "If anything, I'm the best member of that band. Why, without me, those guys would be like a captainless ship drifting around the ocean, directionless and ...."
Barry was quietened with a swift kick from a now recovered Georgie
"I'm the best member of The Bookleys and that's that" He declared, cartwheeling his arms in the air for whatever reason he had, we had stopped asking him for reasons after he walked around the town in a crouch all day citing CIA agents following him as the reason, we decided from then on that we wouldn't ask him questions about his actions unless it affected us directly
"Whatever, I just hope he that twenty quid I lent him last week, he said he'd pay me back when he got the dole this week" Barry said dodging one of Georgie's flailing arms
"You lent him a twenty! When I asked you for a few euro the other day you laughed in my face and continued fanning yourself with some fivers. You son of a bitch" Georgie exclaimed
He had stopped cartwheeling his arms now and was pretending to karate chop one of the trees, making loud grunts and exclamations every time he pretended to land a hit. We didn't even need to ask him about that one, he had taken one class of karate three weeks ago and now assumed that he was a karate master
"Will you cut that out Georgie, Clingy is almost here" I said
"I need to train my delts and tris every day" He declared loudly, refusing to look over at us "My sensei said to do it every day"
"Your sensei?" Barry laughed "I'm pretty sure that guy was the homeless guy who used to hang out in front of my house, I think he managed to get cleaned up and conned a guy out of a hundred quid for a karate lesson.... oh wait, that was you"
"No it wasn't, my sensei was trained by a tiger in the mystical arts of karate deep in the Amazon jungle"
He had no started kicking the tree, his leg barely rising high enough to reach his waist
"Do you even listen to what you say sometimes Georgie! I mean seriously, a lot of what you say is retarded and the rest of it is moronic"
"Seriously dude, you sound almost as stupid as Crudley"
Georgie stopped suddenly and ran over to pin Barry against the tree
"Take that back or I'll use the secret death touch on you that sensei Miyagi taught mein training!"
"Sensei Miyagi!" I was almost crying wiht laughter "As in Mr. Miyagi from The KArate Kid movie. Georgie, you sir have been well and truly duped"
Georgie let go of Barry and stalked over to sit down by himself in a bit of a sulk, his bottom lip trembling on the verge of another crying jag
He seemed to be sulking a lot more of late and I thought I should really aski him about that, instead I just tossed a stone at him and laughed as it hit him squarely on the forehead.
I looked over to see Clingy had finally arrived over to us, a tall gangly ginger fop, bedecked in a nice new waistcoat over a disgustingly dirty t-shirt and trousers that were basically falling off, that man, I was pretty sure, was wearing his clothes until they eventually fell off and he had to buy a new pair of whatever just fell off and from the looks of him it was his teeth next. I barked a laugh and looked over at Barry to share the joke but Barry only had eyes for Gangles, and not the good eyes either, the 'I'm going to murder that guy if he doesn't pay me back my money' kinda eyes. Before I could even say hello Barry was haranguing him over the money
"Gangles! Have you got the money I lent you last week!"
"Sorry Barry, a wakka lakka lakka! I had to give it all to me mum, she beat me at cards last night, a wakka lakka" he said in a British accent
"Wha'? Wha'? If you gave it all to your mum then how did you get that fancy new waistcoat?"
"This? I bought this just after I got the dole, a wakka lakka lakka!"
I could see the vein throbbing in Barry's forehead
"How much was it?"
"About twenty quid I suppose, a wakka lakka lakka"
I could see Barry was going into an apocalyptic rage, his face going red and the hackles on the back of his neck rising. I always meant to ask him how he managed to get hackles like that but never got round to it
I guess it was up to me to diffuse the situation
"I'm sure...."
Before I could say much more though Gangles got hit in the head by a small stone which was followed by a shout of
"You suck Gangles" from Georgies direction and a bark of a laugh
I turned to look over at Georgie, only to see him with a handful of stones ready to throw at Gangles
"Come on now Georgie, lets be civil here"
"Fuck you Jose, you stupid son of a bitch"
With that he tossed the handful of stones in our direction, luckily for us though, that guy had a terribly weak arm and most of the stones dropped short.
"Look guys, I came to find you so I could tell you about the new song I just wrote for the band, a wakka lakka lakka lakka lakka...."
We waited patiently as his 'wakka lakka's' subsided. Chatting amongst ourselves about the current state of the economy and how it could be saved. Eventually they subsided and we could finally find out about Gangles song
"It's called 'Post Lovin' Woman' and it's the greatest song ever"
"I bet it is. Come on then let's hear it" I said, looking forward to hearing the song from, in my opinion the most talented person from around these parts
Georgie snorted derisively to my side and muttered that I 'should stop being so gay for Gangles'
Barry didn't say anything as he was having some sort of rage fit to the side, sounds spluttering out from his mouth as he tried to regain control of his spasming body.
"Well lets hear it then" Georgie said
"Alright then" Gangles proceeded to warm his voice up with some notes on the scale except replacing the notes with 'a wakka lakka's'
Just as he was about to unleash, what I assumed would be musics next greatest hit, Barry recovered from his rage fit and launched himself at Gangles, wrestling him to the ground. After a few minutes Barry extricated himself from a tangled mass of Gangles lanky arms and legs grasping his prize, Gangle's waistcoat.
"If you're not going to pay me back my money then I'm just going to take this as payment instead"
He struggled to put the waistcoat on over his jacket, refusing, as a true Silly Boy to break rule numero uno, to take it off first. When he finally had it on, Georgie and I were in stitches while Gangles just looked on forlornly, accepting defeat
"Barry.." I managed to choke out between laughs "You look ridiculous bro, take the fucking thing off before people see you"
"Never, I'm a Silly Boy and Silly Boys do silly things" And with that he proceeded to strut about like a peacock, showing off his brand new waistcoat to us and I have to admit he pulled it off, he pulled it off with aplomb!
After a rapturous round of applause from Georgie and myself and, surprisingly enough considering the circumstances, Gangles himself, Barry retook his place looking quite smug and content with himself, preening a little after the all round good reaction to his new waistcoat
"Very good Barry, can I get my waistcoat back now please? A Wakka lakka lakka"
"Wha? Wha? You want MY waistcoat?"
"Well I did buy it, a wakka!"
"Get the hell out of here Gangles before I beat the crap out of you!"
"Oooooh noooo, a wakka lakka lakka!"
Gangles sprinted off into the distance with a loud and forlorn 'It were not bloody lovely'
"There goes the next John Lennon" I whispered to myself
"I'm the next John Lennon" Georgie screamed into my ear
"Fuck you Georgie, you're full of shit"
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